didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
