Pappa wants mamma naked
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
