Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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