He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...