I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
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Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty