I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.