piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The maid of honor just puked.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"