oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Boobs are out for the taking
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
