you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
