I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
