considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she smelled like a LAN party
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
