I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
