and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
