her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize