Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
