wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish I only lived at night.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
