Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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