apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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