ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
