I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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