I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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