I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
