My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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