you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my poor anus
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
