I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize