drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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