sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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