Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
