This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
This toilet bowl is my home.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
