You're completely useless in the revolution.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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