mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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