i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
