Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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