you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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