return my video game
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
