this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Your cock deserves a montage
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
