I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Congratulations! We have a period
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize