Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize