I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
