I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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