We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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