Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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