Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
