please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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