I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
