Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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