Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
