Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize