pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
