Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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