He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
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