Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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