Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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