I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
