YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize