I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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